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See, for example, the culinary school’s deliberate mouthful of a name: “University of Cooking School: Academy for Learning.” Yeah, Shakespeare could never. The dialogue trends toward cheesy, but with enough self-awareness that many of the lines can definitely be read as ironic. Screenshot: “I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator” KFC’s menu items play a central role in the game’s storyline. Not to mention, the food design actually looks appetizing. The characters, too, are appropriately well rendered, blinking and pouting in a dynamic enough way to suggest some two-dimensional humanity. Sunlight filtering into a bedroom, an academy courtyard swirling with cherry blossoms, a cooking arena fit for Top Chef - the game is flush with such backgrounds, which frankly wouldn’t look out of place in highbrow shoujo anime like Ouran High School Host Club. Not only that, but like in any dating sim, individual choices affect the object of affection’s feelings for the player, setting up an ending in which you may earn the hunky Colonel’s heart - or just a coupon to his restaurant. Not keeping my libido in check and making a move too soon (repeatedly…).Going towards the light in a fried-chicken-triggered, out-of-body state of rapture.These are just a few of the ways I inadvertently cut short my path to culinary fame and true love: Yes, the stakes in this game of culinary school attractions are so high that your character might actually die, as mine did. The game unfolds in ten parts, each of which involves some crucial decisions that could spell your untimely demise or otherwise bring the narrative to a regrettable halt. Here are the highlights you can look forward to, should you, like me, choose to spend a couple hours trying to date the Hot Colonel in a fried-chicken-branded video game: KFC is no stranger to using video games as a vehicle for promotion: past stunts include a virtual reality nightmare of an employee training program and an 8-bit Atari-style game also starring the Colonel, but never has the approach been quite so… horny. But more than anything else, this is a dating game, and so the ultimate objective is to bag the svelte Kentucky-fried daddy that is the Colonel, looking just as suave as KFC’s CGI Instagram influencer version of the man. As the main character, your storyline involves earning your degree, supporting your best friend, and improving your culinary chops. The game, dubbed “I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator” and created by entertainment/advertising company Psyop for the fried-chicken brand, follows the player through a three-day culinary school adventure (a culinary school degree in three days… that’s how you know it’s a fantasy, am I right, folks?). The big surprise? It’s actually pretty good.
STAR DAYS SIM DATE WALKTHROUGH GENERATOR
Here’s a sentence that might as well have been spat out by a random word generator outfitted exclusively for 2019: Today KFC released an anime-style dating simulator game starring a hot, silver-fox Colonel Sanders.